I’ve always had an inclination to be creative. Not necessarily to create, but to operate in a creative manner. I think it started at a very young age. It started with play dough and I'm sure we've all played with play dough when we were younger. But I loved the feeling of play dough in a solid yet somewhat fluid state? It always captivated me that play dough was able to hold whatever form you wanted it too. It was so freeing. It felt like the possibilities were endless. I think I've always liked clay.
Another aspect about my self awareness is that I see and feel things deeply.
Let’s start with the see.
I’ve always been very conscious of shapes and colours, to be specific. From the beauty of how that shape was created and how it compliments the structure of whatever shape it holds. I don’t know if I’m explaining it correctly. For example, I’m staring at my mouse. And the mouse is an oval shape, but it has edges. Oval with edges is already intriguing enough but they added these sharp corners within an oval shape that somehow.. manages to compliment each other. Fascinating.
Now with the feel. I feel things so deeply for everything and for everyone that sometimes I just want a break.
I used to wonder why everything would make me cry, even if it wasn’t directly correlated to me, meaning things didn’t have to actually happen to me for me to shed tears. I cry for other people all. the. damn. time. Was I broken? Is there such thing as too sensitive? Definitely tears of sadness but then I realized.. I also had lots of tears of joy and that not everybody is lucky enough to experience those types of tears either. I’ve stopped caring why. I’ve come to a recent conclusion that who cares if I feel sorrow deeply, I feel happiness even deeper.
Ira Natasha